"I know."
He looked at me with tears in his eyes.
"I don't know if I can forgive you for this."
"I don't know if I can forgive myself."
We sat in silence until the sun came up.
That was six months ago.
We're in couples therapy now. Some days are better than others. The trust is shattered — on both sides. He cheated, but I engineered the circumstances. We're both guilty. We're both broken.
Alexis had the baby last month. A boy. David sees him on weekends. I haven't met him yet. I'm not ready.